Turn the page and create a new story…..

Just the other day I was speaking with one of my friends trying to help her deal with a painful breakup. Background note: She has been entertaining a long distance “relationship” with a guy who lives 800 miles from her. Other than the occasional phone call, mostly text messages; she has physically seen him 4 times over the past 7 months.  Well  he sent her an email (yes…what an ass) basically saying, “I don’t want to hold you back and you should start dating other people because I have a lot going on”.   In between the constant sobbing, she keep saying she didn’t see this coming…..she started replaying every conversation in her head thinking maybe I shouldn’t said this…or maybe he took this the wrong way…..and then she told me……..He was the first guy I felt comfortable enough to tell about ALL the horrible things that I’ve had to deal with over my life…….

 My Life Book

 ………………………………My thoughts came to a screeching halt…. I was really just trying to be a friend and simply listen……..BUT… I had to ask her, “What was your goal in telling him about your past hurts?” She then paused and said “I wanted to explain to him why I behave the way I do”…………..After a long pause, I told her that was counterproductive to her having the relationship she so badly desired….. I see this so often with my female friends……..

We say we are ready for a relationship but have not let go of our old stories or we continually victimize ourselves by repeating our stories over and over again….

Would you be interested in reading a book that repeated chapters over and over again throughout the book…..I dare to guess, NO! ……….Then why on earth do we continue to copy & paste chapter 2 into chapter 3-4 of our lives and wonder why nothing has changed or why things aren’t getting better.  Understand this:  You and your spiritual being are the only heroes in your life story….. You are waiting on God to send someone to make it all better….He did…..YOU!

So…..Turn the page and start writing the rest of your story!

Trying to have it all…Really!

 I recently had a conversations with a female coworker who expressed her disapproval of mother’s trying to have it all.  As a mother herself, she has made the personal decision to work part-time in order to be home with her toddler children.  As I glanced around the room I could see the looks of disapproval from the other women in the room…needless to say…we had a very intense discussion about working mothers.


     What I have come to understand is that you can have it all, just not all at the very same time.  It’s truly about seeking balance and prioritizing things that you deem important.  I don’t think any woman (as noble as it sounds) should completely give up or put her dreams on hold to be the seemly perfect mom.  As a mother to girls I want them to know that they are special and also have a gift that only they can give to the world.

     So what can you do to gain some balance:

1. Seriously consider how you are using your time. Outsource task that are time consuming and mundane.  I would normally spend hours during the weekend washing and folding clothes. Occasionally I outsource that to the local Spin N Wash so that we can enjoy clean clothes and more  importantly use that time to do something fun!

2.  Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!  You may have to say NO (Practice and repeat the word NO! ten times….liberating I tell you)  Say no thank you.. to the invite to do anything that doesn’t make your heart sing..

3. Communicate… tell your hubby or kids that you will work between the following hours and after that they are all yours! Make sure you stick to the agreed upon time!

4. Get up every day and try to do better!  It truly takes time and practice so don’t give up!




The affair that almost cost me my life…..

….Ever been in a situation you knew wasn’t good or productive for you?  You keep promising yourself “this time is it, I have to stop this”….but as soon as life happens (and it will ) you go running back to the familiar out of fear of the unknown…..

In todays drama crazed world…I’m sure I’ve got your attention!

…The affair I’m referring to……………………………………………Is the affair I keep having with my past!

I know in my mind that it is unproductive to keep thinking about all the couldas, wouldas and shouldas…but we spend countless amounts of time wondering……

……..What if our relationship worked out?

………….What if I took that job?

………..What if I had enrolled into that program?

..What if…….and the list could go on and on

Here’s the reality!!!(DRUM ROLL PLEASE)……you CAN NOT go back and do those over HOWEVER you can make sure that this moment, today, this year does NOT become a future what if…..

So TODAY, RIGHT NOW (yes I’m talking to you)  End the affair with your past and marry your future!

Hugs and Kisses,



A call to action!!

Where’s my gold at the end of the rainbow?


Oh! The times I’ve wished and prayed that things would miraculously get better in my life.


……………If only a true love would come, or a new job or better financial opportunity appeared, if only I could lose 30 lbs……I would be happy…..

If only…. has become the theme for most of my adult life………………….


I have even went  so far as praying (Is it a sin to pray to win the lottery?) and thinking I would be the 1 in 100 million to hold that covenant winning lottery ticket—


If only someone would invent that magically diet pill that will safely melt away my unwanted weight (don’t judge me I said safely). At the very least invent the magical pill that will make me enjoy exercising like a Jane Fonda understudy.


Oh I could really start truly living…


What I’ve come to understand is that these things are possible but are not manifested in the hands off approach (this is really dressing up the word: lazy) in which most of us have dreamed.

I requires action…more than likely  a lot of intentional action.


Today, do one thing that will aid you in accomplishing your dream deferred!


Lots of Love & Hugs,





     I recently had the pleasure of watching the two part series of OWN’s Life Class with T.D. Jakes entitled “Transformational Thinking”.  Let me tell you it was truly transformational.  His lecture was the motivation for this posting.  If you have not watched it…YOU MUST MAKE IT A MUST…….

     With that being said…………………………………………..The wonderful creator has already equipped you and I with the things we need to live out our purpose.  How many of you have had your gut tell you something doesn’t feel right or this is a good idea? Why didn’t you listen to your gut?  Like me the answer is: YOU (your fears and/or intellect) got in the way! 


     Many of us think our instinct are our ability to trust ourselves.  Thankfully…let me take the pressure off of you..Instinct or your “gut feeling” is the spirit communicating with you on a personal level. Although you may not trust YOURSELF, Trust that the creator WILL NOT steer you wrong (Now that’s GREAT news!).

     I remember my grandmother telling us as young adults “that you are too smart for your own good”.  I didn’t quite understand at that the time how profound that was.  Many of us attempt to rely on our intellect when making decisions.  The unfortunate part is that you don’t know what you don’t know… So take the pressure off of YOU to get it right and simply TRUST YOUR INSTINCT!

 Peace & Blessings…

Getting out of a slump!

Lifting yourself out of a slump!

Get out of the slump 

What happens when you become disgruntle about life in general? Where nothing seems to be going right or left for that matter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m normally a very upbeat, glass is half way full type gal.  But recently I’ve become overwhelmed with life not going quite the way I want it to (I know..join the crowd and bring out the violins).  You know the saying “when it rains it pours” well right now I feel like I’m floating during a Tsunami (you know I’m a tidbit dramaticJ).  So now that I’ve vented and allowed myself a 10 minute pity party..it’s time to turn this frustration into something more productive. 

So how do I get myself out of a slump?

  1. Acknowledge & recognize that you’re in a TEMPORARY slump.
  2. For quick pick me up!  You have to develop a “pick me up” music playlist.  I have downloaded several songs that make me extremely happy….(Can you say, Pharrell.. Happy).
  3. Find some inspiration!  Do you enjoy looking at recipes? Or looking at homes (you probably can’t afford-Now.(remember no judging)
  4. Find a positive distraction.  Maybe thumb through a gossip magazine, read excerpts from a trashy romance novel or go outside and take a much needed walk.

Once you’ve cleared your head and can now think more rationally.

1. Write down what trigger these feelings and emotions.  i.e. argument with your husband or received a bill unexpectedly—

2. Next write down what you can do to make the issue a little more manageable.  i.e. talk to your husband calmly (was it really worth all the trouble) or determine if you can make payment arrangements on the bill.

3.  After a few days… determine if you could have done anything differently to avoid this in the future.


NOW get to the business (YOUR BUSINESS) of being happy!!!!

Living the Good Life!!

                Many of you, including myself, go through life without experiencing life. What does that mean? Do you every wonder if there is more to life than working, bills, car-pools and to-do list?  You are not alone….We get so caught in the mundane activities of the day that many of us have forgotten that we were placed on this earth for a purpose.  I know.. You have obligations, bills and responsibilities…..Most of us if not all of us do….That’s ALL code for: I DON”T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO DO IT!!!!  and that the majority of us. We become paralyzed by the fear of the unknown. 

                How many of you have been or currently at a job or in a relationship that you know is no longer serving a beneficial purpose in your life?  I see you shaking your head J.. the BIGGER question is why haven’t you taken any steps towards changing those situations?

 FEAR… that small four letter word that tends to take over most of our lives……

                I know you saying..who wants to live in fear..life happens!  WELL here’s the REALITY..it requires that you are aware of your feelings and thoughts ALL the time in order to combat those feelings of fear.

                 To get you started, consider (even make a list) of your fears. For example,: not having enough money, being alone, not being smart enough, or even fear of becoming sick maybe  STOPPING  you from living a fully present life. 

Good Life




So how do you get started?

1. Recognize your fears (they do exist)

2. Try to understand why this is a fear for you.  What has contributed to the fear?

3.  Evaluate how these fears may have prevented you from being the best YOU, You can be!

4. Work daily to release the fears and self-sabotaging doubt from your daily life.

Today! Start working towards Living the Good Life!!!

A dose of gratitude goes a long way….

     My best friend Maisha had the opportunity of lifetime to go to Africa on a missionary trip (interview and pics coming very soon!).  On her trip her primary focus was to lend a hand at a local orphanage.  In her daily text messages she expresses how blown away she is at the level of gratitude the children there have the smallest things like a hug and/or a blow pop. Maybe we have become so spoiled and desensitized to how truly fortunate and blessed most of us are.  On our worst days we have a lot more than many…  

Thank you

     I know sometimes it’s hard not to concentrate on what’s not going well in our lives.  But the saying is true “What you give your attention to will manifest itself greatly”.  So why spend endless amounts of time and energy on such negative things.  Worrying never changed anything..focused actions are the only thing that will change our circumstances. 

     Exercise: Try keep a gratitude journal-every night for 40 nights. Daily write down two things you are grateful for during the course of that day. Your days will become BRIGHTER!!


Find your inner athlete!

Wishing you had the willpower and motivation of an athlete?    

Here are 5 simple ways to “trick” your body into moving more:

  1. Purchase & Wear an activity monitoring device– Most of us (even the laziest of us) are very visual people.  Having a visual reminder of how much OR little activity we are actually engaging in can be hugely motivational.  I personally wear Weight Watchers ActiveLink (http://www.weightwatchers.com/templates/Marketing/Marketing_Utool_1col.aspx?pageid=1395241)-and it’s something hugely motivational to see all those dancing lights at the end of the day, that symbolizes I met or exceeded my activity points for the day.  Oh those occasion where I’m having a rough day—I will march around the house until I get my activity points up.
  2. Find a buddy who is MORE athletic then you! Consider this person as your work-out mentor.  It goes back to a saying I heard somewhere: “never ask a broke person how to become rich” obviously they haven’t figured that out yet.  We choose people who are like us so that we feel comfortable with the process.  The opposite should apply—find someone who will push you and has seen some success.
  3. Park farther from your destination—Trust me this small change can lead to measureable results.
  4. Set a goal and a reward for accomplishing your goal. For example, if you work out for 30 minutes for 10 days you will reward yourself with an hour massage.  (Important note: make sure the reward does not involve food or alcohol..I know..don’t shoot the messenger J)
  5. If you are a big TV watcher, commit to moving during every commercial break.  Make sure you’re NOT moving towards the kitchen to get snacks..

Good Luck and Get Moving…..